We weren’t just obsessed with hockey though. We were obsessed with Red Wings hockey. One of our favorite games to play while traveling was with license plate numbers. Using the letters, you make up a silly phrase, and then the numbers would be Red Wings jersey numbers, so you named the player. Lots of fun on a long car ride. My favorite is my old license plate: Mega Hot Undies Larionov Krupp OH!
Out of this hockey obsession grew what became an annual pilgrimage to Traverse City for Red Wings hockey camp. It became a repeat event because that first trip was so phenomenally epic.
Many hilarious things happened on that first trip to sight actual hockey players in the flesh.
Skip’s mom, Donna, had rented a car to take us all North because her car was in the shop. It’s color was somewhere between purple and blue, earning it the nickname The Periwinkle Monster.
If you haven’t been to the zoo during sea lion mating season, you haven’t heard the glory that is an Oorp-pthh of a 600 pound aquatic mammal looking to distribute his seed. It is an unforgettable sound, and one you will want to emulate for years to come.
So around the half-way point, we pull off the highway into a rest area. We all have to go to the bathroom, and we could use a stretch.
We dawdled a bit and took some pictures, enjoying the summer night.
We had all taken a stall, and this poor, unsuspecting stranger that had joined us had gas. So while we’re all closed up behind stall doors, relieving ourselves, we hear the snort and squish of a bowel movement that polite people ignore.
We were not polite.
“Sounds like SOMEBODY has explosive diarrhea!”
This poor woman was just trying to go to the bathroom, and these monster teenagers are humiliating her!
Donna was in the bathroom, but she didn’t know what to do. Should she tell us to shut the hell up? Should she just wait it out? Should she run back to the car and abandon us to our fates?
Bodily functions complete, we gradually came out of the stalls one-by-one. And with each opened door, the discovery was made anew: we were not alone in that bathroom.
We just tormented a complete stranger.
But we were giddy! We were on a road trip, and we had lost our damn minds. When I came out of the stall last, this is what I saw.